Love is in the air
by tashaluffscolors
Summary: SpongeBob is tried of his life and suddenly his life changes dramatically but are these changes too much to handle? Rated for T adult language and sexual content.
1. Intro

"SpongeBob would you hurry up with those patties" Squidward yelled. "We have customers" SpongeBob rolled his eyes. "O.K. Who ordered a triple krabby supreme" SpongeBob yelled from the little which had a straight view of Squidward. "I did" Said a blue fish who wasn't wearing any clothes. SpongeBob walked up to the blue fish. "Here's your order sir" SpongeBob said in a stressful way . "Thanks" Said the blue fish in a polite way. SpongeBob walked back into the kitchen "Same day every day" SpongeBob Mumbled .  
  
A few years ago SpongeBob would of bragged about how great his life is but now his life was so boring. He needed some excitement in his dull life. Instead of SpongeBob being so happy and full of life he moped around like squidward. SpongeBob yawned. "Mr. Krabs I'm going to take my lunch break "said SpongeBob "I'll be back at 12:45""You do that SpongeBob" Said Mr. Krabs while (you guess it) counting money. It was just then Mr. Krabs realized that SpongeBob was depressed. During the time Spongebob was on his lunch break. Squidward and Mr. Krabs were discussing about SpongeBob issue  
  
"I never seen the lad so upset" Said Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs and Squidward were in Mr. Krabs Office. "I think he's finally learned that life sucks" Yawned Squidward "When I was his age, I was really happy but when I turned 25, I started to get depressed. I tried smoking marijuana but it only worked for an hour. Now I am almost 34 years old and I am still depressed". Mr. Krabs raised an eyebrow. He was glad that he didn't end up like Squidward. Squidward went on and on about how his life sucked.  
  
"Closing time"! Squidward said while changing the sign from open to close. "Time to get out of this shithole"  
  
Usually SpongeBob would faint when Squidward cursed but this time he didn't do anything. SpongeBob made an exit though The Kusty Krab and slowly walked home.  
  
On The way there SpongeBob bumped into Patrick. Patrick had a huge grin on his face and was holding a jellyfishing net. "Hey SpongeBob" Patrick said "Wanna go jelly fishing" SpongeBob sighed. "Not now Pat" he said "I just don't feel like it". Patrick had a werid look on his face and then started to laugh. "SpongeBob! Are you outa your mind. You love jelly fishing" "I know Pat but I just don't feel like it. I'm sorry. Tomorrow, I promise" SpongeBob walked away before Patrick could answer.  
  
When SpongeBob got home he turned on the TV. He didn't feel like watching reality shows.He thought life sucked so who would wanna watch life on TV. Cartoons? Sure. There not real he thought. SpongeBob stated to watch the fairly oddparents but got annoyed because the show taught a real life moral.  
  
"Why does life have to so boring" SpongeBob said so loudly. Suddenly SpongeBob got an idea. "Ohhhhh. I know why my life is so boring" He said. "Meow(meaning: You do?)" Gary asked. "Yeah Gary. It's because me and my friends have nothing romantic going on in our lives" SpongeBob said "Oh I wish my friends and I would find love". SpongeBob yelled. Squidward heard this and said "Yup. He's turning into me alright"  
  
It's just happen so that The Flying Ducthman ship was 50 feet above SpongeBob house. He heard SpongeBob wish. After some hard thinking he decided to grant SpongeBob wish BUT with a twist  
  
What Will Happen Next? Author note: I know. The first chapter is boring but trust me, it's gets intresting. I will take me along time to complete the 2nd chapter because during the day, I'm at camp but I'll try my best. Oh by the way , if your going to write something negative, say were I need to improve on. Thank U for taking time outa your life to read my FanFic. 


	2. Back Together

SpongeBob woke up the next mourning in a grumpy mood. He started to get a headache so took some Tylenol but that just made it worse. He had kelpo cereal for breakfast. While he was eating he thought about getting a new job and maybe even a girlfriend but the thought of that made him feel worse. "Things will get better" he said to himself "They just have to".  
  
SpongeBob slowly walked to work. On the way there he thought about how many Krabby Patties he had made in his life. The math confused him yet the Krusty Krab was a good eye distance away. He ran as quick as he could to the restaurant. When he got there he was relieved. "Maybe making some Krabby Patties will get things off my mind" he muttered to himself.  
  
While making Krabby Patties SpongeBob was thinking the horrible thoughts again. Was this the time of his life to make a big decision? This time the thought of his life changing didn't make him more sad.  
  
Suddenly SpongeBob felt something odd was going on. He popped his head into the little window that he and Squidward shared to asked Squidward if he suspected anything unusual. Wait a minute. Squidward wasn't there! So that was the thing bugging him. Where could Squidward be? Maybe he was sick or a relative died. "Gee I hope Squilliam didn't die" SpongeBob said to himself, "It sure is creepy when you know someone who died". "Wait Maybe Mr. Krabs knows what's the deal with Squidward" SpongeBob thought, "Well it's none of my business but Squidward will be happy with me because I showed how much I cared about him. Oh heck I'll ask"  
  
Then SpongeBob noticed that he hadn't seen Mr.Krabs at all today either. "Well he has to be in his office because otherwise the Krusty Krab would be closed" SpongeBob thought. He Knocked on Mr. Krabs office door but no one answered. He heard giggling and a woman's voice saying "Oh Eugene". The woman's voice sounded familiar. He knocked on the door again but still no one answered. SpongeBob got so mad that he swung open the door and he couldn't believe what he saw.  
  
Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff were making out on Mr. Krabs' desk! Mr. Krabs looked up and was quite shocked to see SpongeBob. SpongeBob was really surprised to see Ms. Puff and Mr. Krabs together again. Didn't they break- Up? "Wha, Wha, What's goooooooooooing on here" SpongeBob managed to stumble. "SpongeBob!" Mr. Krabs yelled out loud "Lovely Mrs. Puff and I are getting married". "But didn't you guys break-up?" SpongeBob asked. "Yeah. We did" Mr. Krabs said "But this morning I realized she was the one, so I brought a really expensive 15 carat diamond ring and it was horrible". Mr. Krabs started to cry and Mrs. Puff gave him a nasty look. "Oh sorry" Mr. Krabs said "But It was worth it".  
  
"Uh, Mr.Krabs" SpongeBob said "Squidward isn't here and I thought maybe you know why he isn't here." Mr. Krabs sighed. "Sorry, lad, but I haven't heard anything about Squidward" Mr. Krabs said "But that old barnacle is going to be in big trouble the next time I see him"  
  
A few hours passed. Mrs. Puff left. SpongeBob was able to concentrate on his work without day dreaming. "Mr. Krabs" SpongeBob yelled "I'm going to take my lunch break. I'll be back around 12:45". "You do that SpongeBob" replied Mr. Krabs.  
  
As SpongeBob walked out of the door he saw a tall guy walking to the door. SpongeBob held the door for him. "Why thank you SpongeBob" said a familiar voice. SpongeBob looked up. It was Squidward!  
  
Author note: This chapter wasn't really fun to write. I wanted to finish it fast so I can get to chapter 3. Thanks to the people who wrote good comments. U really helped me get motivated 


	3. Squidward 's Secret

"Squidward" SpongeBob yelled. "Oh where have you been. I missed you so much. I was wondering where you were and you're here and I am so happy your back". SpongeBob looked up at Squidward. He was wearing his brown shirt but he was also wearing a fancy brown leather jacket of a hip designer that SpongeBob couldn't place the name of. He was also wearing very strong cologne that made SpongeBob wanna puke (remember the time SpongeBob and Patrick went through the perfume department?). Squidward was also wearing Versace Sunglasses. He looked very gay .  
  
"Squidward. Where have you been this mourning" SpongeBob asked. Squidward sighed. "SpongeBob" . Squidward choked on his words. "lets go inside and talk".  
  
The Krusty Krab was crowded because it was lunchtime but Squidward and SpongeBob where able to find a table. Squidward sat down and was sweating. He took off his sunglasses and put them in a small pocket inside his jacket. Squidward tried to get the words out of his mouth but it was hard. Finally, He managed to speak his feelings.  
  
"SpongeBob" Squidward spoke slowly "You remember Squilliam. My cousin. Right. SpongeBob nodded. "Well" Squidward said in a shaking voice "We decided to kiss and make up". A grin came upon SpongeBob face. "Oh Squidward. I knew you guys wouldn't fight for long". Squidward rolled his eyes. "Uh SpongeBob, Me and Squilliam were fighting since high school which was a very long time ago and besides that isn't the big thing" Squidward said. "Well what is it" SpongeBob asked. Squidward sighed deeply. "Well um. Me and Squilliam are in love" Squidward blurted. He started to sob.  
  
SpongeBob had a blank look on his face. "Squidward is gay!?" He thought "You think you know a guy. I thought Squidward was one of the straightest guys in the whole pacific ocean. Squidward was still crying. SpongeBob comforted Squidward for 5 minutes until Squidward eyes were dried up. "I'm okay" Squidward lied. "Squidward. I don't understand what's wrong" SpongeBob said. "Oh I get it" Squidward rolled his dried up eyes. "You do" Squidward asked. "Yeah" SpongeBob said "It's because gay marriage is illegal. Squidward was back to his old self. "That's not it you barnacle head" Squidward yelled. "It's because Squilliam is my cousin and your not supposed to fall in love with your cousin".  
  
SpongeBob understood. "How are you going to tell your family" He asked. " I don't know" Squidward said quietly. Squilliam dad doesn't like me because he thinks I'm gay" SpongeBob looked at Squidward expensive leather jacket. "Hey Squidward" SpongeBob asked how did you get all that stuff your wearing in the first place". "Oh that" Squidward asked "This morning I went on a shopping spree so that's the reason I wasn't there earlier"  
  
"Ah-Ha"! Mr. Krabs yelled "I was over there that whole time eavesdropping on your conversation" Mr. Krabs laughed. "looks like you have a dilemma, eh Squidward" Squidward pupils got tiny. "Well, I have news myself. Me and my girlfriend are getting married. Squidward started to laugh. "You have a girlfriend" Squidward laughed.  
  
"Well Mr. Squidward, you won't be laughing for a long time because you are late". "Oh about that, Squilliam gave me this. He said it's for you" It's was an envelope. Inside the envelope was a check for 100,000. Mr. Krabs forgot about Squidward not being here this mourning.  
  
SpongeBob was eating at the Shell Shack. He been eating at that place for two weeks. He seemed to be going though a Shell Shack faze and this particular place seemed to have boring business men and stressed out mothers with there hyper active kids. For a while SpongeBob called this place home because he thought his life was boring but now he couldn't stand these people. "And to think I called this place home" Spongebob thought and continued to eat his taco salad.  
  
Author Note: I am so happy to see SpongeBob happy again. The next Chapter will come on Monday. Oh did I mention that this is my first Fic. 


	4. Sandy and Patrick

SpongeBob was walking home. It was almost 2:00 p.m. The Krusty Krab was closed this early because Mr. Krabs was going over to Ms. Puff's house. SpongeBob didn't even want to think what there were doing because it was obvious. He decided to go Jellyfishing with Patrick like he promised. He was also in a much better mood.  
  
SpongeBob walked over to Patrick's rock/house and knocked on it. No answer. SpongeBob suddenly got fed up. "Patrick Star open this rock or I'll it myself" SpongeBob yelled. Still no answer. Now he was getting really pissed off. He lifted the rock and saw something that he thought he'll never in a million years. Patrick and Sandy were sharing a kiss.  
  
" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE" SpongeBob yelled. Patrick and Sandy were speechless. Patrick started to cry. "SpongeBob why did you have to make Patrick cry" Sandy said in her Texas accent. "Well" SpongeBob said "I didn't mean to make Patrick cry but I bet you be pretty freaked out if you saw your two best friends making out". Sandy sighed and put her air helmet back on. "I understand SpongeBob" she said "It's just me and Patrick both had crushes on each other for a long time and just now we told each other.  
  
SpongeBob was feeling very awkward. He didn't get why Sandy had a crush on Patrick. "Why would someone have a crush on someone who puts stuff in in his own belly button?" SpongeBob thought "And besides Sandy and I were going to end up together". SpongeBob felt tears in his eyes. SpongeBob had a crush on Sandy since they first met. She was always there for him. Who wouldn't like a girl like that?  
  
SpongeBob was trying to keep his cool. "So Pat" he said "Do you still wanna go jellyfishing". Patrick seemed to be better. "Not now SpongeBob" Patrick said in a lazy voice. "I wanna spend time with my new girlfriend". The word "Girlfriend" buzzed around in SpongeBob head like a angry jellyfishing. He walked back to his house without saying good bye to Sandy or Patrick.  
  
SpongeBob sat on his bed. He had a lot of feelings about the Sandy and Patrick issue. He was jealous of Patrick for having a girlfriend. SpongeBob wasn't too good with girls but so Patrick wasn't either. He thought he should be happy with them being a couple but it was hard. This meant that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy's friendship would be affected forever but then again he was hoping for a change. SpongeBob was so confused. He didn't know what to think.  
Author's Note: Don't worry. SpongeBob is going to find Love but it's not as great as it's sounds. Please review. Thank U 


	5. The art of Ignorance

For the last two weeks, no one had time for SpongeBob. At work Mr. Krabs was only thinking about Mrs. Puff (surprisingly not much about money). And at Boating School Mrs. Puff was only thinking about Mr. Krabs and not really about how much she hated her job. Sandy and Patrick were spending too munch time together and didn't even wanna talk to SpongeBob (the assholes). Even Gary didn't want to do anything with SpongeBob. He was spending a lot of time with his new girlfriend Snellie (Squidward Snail).  
  
Squidward was a whole different story. As days passed by, Squidward became to look more gay and act more gay. He even had a bag from Prada that cost at least a thousand dollars. ( Author's note: I made a chart to see how Squidward was before and after he made up with Squilliam)  
  
Before After  
  
Fav Singer/Band: Mozart Fav Singer/Band: Barbra Streisand (ha!) Fav Movie: Casablanca Fav Movie: Chicago (which is also my favorite movie) Fav Show: The Restaurant Fav Show: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Fav Book: A Complete Boring Fav Book: Judy Garland: A Biography History of the Clarinet  
  
At least Squidward noticed SpongeBob. SpongeBob started to get depressed again because he thought nobody liked him. He moped around like he used to. Squidward noticed this and asked SpongeBob what was wrong but of course SpongeBob lied and said he was fine.  
  
SpongeBob was watching Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy. The episode was the one where Mermaidman put a tickle belt on Manray. He loved that episode but didn't feel like watching it. Then he remembered that Patrick loved that episode too. "That stupid fatass!" SpongeBob yelled out loud. He didn't care who heard him. He picked up Gary's tennis ball (which had slime all over it) and threw it at a picture frame which had a picture of SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick at The Goo Lagoon that had been taken in 2002. "I never want to see that Texan slut or that big ass bastard again!" SpongeBob screamed.  
  
SpongeBob was about to cry but suddenly some one knocked on the door. SpongeBob answered the door. It was Squidward. SpongeBob jaw dropped. SpongeBob didn't have a problem with gay people but the way Squid was dressed was too gay. He was wearing tight black leather pants. His shirt had zebra prints all over them. He was wearing Gucci sunglasses. It was like he was too gay too function( Yes. I got that off Mean Girls but anyway). SpongeBob forgot about the whole Sandy/Patrick thing all of the sudden.  
  
"SpongeBob did you know that Gary got Snellie pregnant" Squidward said with anger. Squidward still wasn't comfortable with the fact that his "Purebred" Snail has fallen in love with a mutt. "Yeah, So" SpongeBob said. He couldn't care less. Squid rolled his eyes. "You know what this means" Squid said. "We have to do something with their babies". SpongeBob didn't feel like taking to anyone at the moment. "Uh, Squid, Can we talked about this later" SpongeBob yawned. Squidward rolled his eyes. "Fine" said while rolling his eyes. "We will talk about this at work tomorrow". Squidward walked back to his house.  
  
When SpongeBob got inside. Gary was sitting on the couch. He had changed the TV channel to McLaughlin Group. SpongeBob hated that show. "Gary" SpongeBob snapped. "Squidward told me that you got Snellie pregnant. Is this true" Gary sighed. "Meow (Look, I couldn't help it. Snellie is hot)" Gary Meowed. SpongeBob rolled his eyes. "You know Gary" SpongeBob said " You can control yourself". Gary suddenly got mad. "Meow( Well at least I can get laid)". SpongeBob jaw dropped. "Gary, Go to your room" SpongeBob yelled with tears in his eyes.  
  
SpongeBob turned off the TV. He started to cry but suddenly green smoke appeared. The Flying Dutchman appeared. He started to laugh. "You know what's funny." The Flying Dutchman said. "You made a wish and it came true". SpongeBob looked confused. "What wish." he said while raising an eyebrow. The Flying Dutchman hesitated. "Member a couple weeks ago, Lad" The Flying Dutchman said "You wish that all of your friends would find love. So I granted it". SpongeBob finally remembered. "Oh yeah" SpongeBob said "I remember now". "Yeah." The Flying Dutchman said "I granted it but with a twist." SpongeBob was confused. "So, What was the twist" SpongeBob asked. The Dutchman smiled. "That you wouldn't be happy with some of the changes." he said. "What!" SpongeBob yelled "You want my life to suck more than it already does.". "Well," The Dutchman said "I am evil. Sorry but it's my job. SpongeBob looked at him with a I-Don't-Get-What-Your-Saying look. The Dutchman sighed. "Like your job is to make Krabby Patties, My job is to be evil". "Oh I get it" SpongeBob said sadly.  
  
The Flying Dutchman felt bad for SpongeBob. After all, He thought SpongeBob life sucked. Then The Flying Dutchman got an idea. "Tell you what." He said. "I'll try to make your life back to normal but I can't just do in a flash". "How long is that going to take" SpongeBob asked. " uh, Maybe a month" The Dutchman responded. "Well," SpongeBob said "That's a long time but it's fair.". The Dutchman smiled. "I'm glad we were able to make a deal." He said. "Well, I gotta go.". "See Ya!" SpongeBob said in a perky voice. The Dutchman disappeared with the green smoke and the music.  
  
SpongeBob was brushing his teeth when Gary appeared. "Meow (Sorry about that comment about you weren't able to get laid)" meowed Gary. "Gary. I still love you and yes I do accept your apology" SpongeBob said. Then they hugged.  
  
SpongeBob turned off the lights in his bedroom. Then he crawled into his bed and fell asleep.  
  
; 


	6. Tatiana

SpongeBob woke up the next mourning with a smile. He made some toast with some orange juice. Gary was watching The 7:00 o'clock news. It seemed to be about some teenage mother getting murdered and they had no idea who killed her. SpongeBob ignored it because it was too sad to watch.  
  
SpongeBob had to go to boating school in the mourning so he couldn't talk to Squidward until the afternoon. He rode his unicycle to boating school. When he got there he sat down in the front seat as usual. The person who sat next to him was Tatiana SpongeSon. She was a yellow (Just like SpongeBob). She was a brunette. Her hair fell down to her waist. Tatiana was wearing red lipstick, a blue dress, and pink open toe high heals. She had beautiful green eyes. She had a scar on her forehead but she was still beautiful. SpongeBob had a crush on her ever since she came here in 2003. On her first day here, SpongeBob volunteered to show her around. He had a hard time speaking because he was amazed of how pretty she was, Therefore Tatiana didn't know how to get around the school for a while. SpongeBob tried flirting with her for a while but she called him names and even slapped him once. "I'm such a loser." SpongeBob thought to himself " I'll never be good enough for Tatiana.". SpongeBob was though with flirting with her but he thought making a friendly conversation with wouldn't be so bad.  
  
"Hey Tatiana." SpongeBob said. "Are you having a good day so far." SpongeBob assumed that Tatiana thought he was a big dork. Tatiana gave a heavy sigh an rolled her eyes at the same time. "SpongeBob," She said in her lovely voice. "Why are you hitting on me?". "What!" SpongeBob said loudly "I'm not trying to hit on you. I just wanted to know how your day was going.". "Yeah. Right." Tatiana said. "Just leave me alone. Mrs. Puff is coming any minute now anyway."  
  
The lesson went by quickly. SpongeBob was watching the clock. "11:28. Two more minutes" SpongeBob thought. SpongeBob liked boating school but he needed to get out of here right NOW! Besides he heard the grill calling his name. For next two minutes SpongeBob sat there drawing. Suddenly, the bell rung. "YES!" he yelled out loud not realizing that he embarrassed himself in front of the whole class. Everyone including Tatiana looked at him at him with the What-The-Hell-Are-You-Doing expression.  
  
SpongeBob was walking out the door when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around. "What." he said. Ms. Puff was standing in the hallway. "SpongeBob." She said. "We need to talk.". "Um, Okay" He said. As SpongeBob walked to the classroom, He wondered what did Mrs. Puff wanted to talk to him about. "Probably it's because I haven't been paying attention lately." SpongeBob thought. "Take a seat SpongeBob" Said Mrs. Puff as they got into the classroom. SpongeBob sat down uncomfortably. "As you know SpongeBob." Mrs. Puff lectured. "Eugene (Mr. Krabs) and I are getting married and he wanted you know that you are one of the grooms." SpongeBob was puzzled. "So that's what you wanted to talk to me all along?" SpongeBob asked. "Why of course SpongeBob" She said with a smile "Although I'm not so happy about it. Oh and by the way, The dress rehearsal is on the 24th ". " Okay Mrs. Puff." SpongeBob said in his usual voice "I'll be there and square".  
  
SpongeBob ate some soup at his house. He didn't have to be at the Krusty Krab until 1:00 o'clock. Gary was watching the 12 o'clock news. There were still reporting on the teenage mother who was found dead this mourning. They had a suspect. The suspect was her 19 year-old ex-boyfriend who she dumped for another guy. Then they said that her 3 year-old daughter would go to the care of her original father. "Gary" SpongeBob asked "How can you stand watching this?". "Meow (Because It's interesting)." "Why aren't you spending time with Snellie?" SpongeBob asked. "Meow( Snellie has been a bitch lately)." Gary responded. "Whatever." SpongeBob Said.  
  
When SpongeBob was walking to work, He was wondering what was Tatiana doing at the moment. Then he realized that Tatiana wasn't that nice to him ever since she started going to boating school (He just found that out!?). "Gee." SpongeBob thought, I wonder what her deal is" Then SpongeBob thought of an idea. "Maybe the reason Tatiana acted like a jerk was because maybe she was abused when she was a child and that scar might be evidence.  
  
When SpongeBob arrived at the Krusty Krab he couldn't believe what he saw. Sandy and Patrick where sitting at a table and waving at him. "C'mon SpongeBob." Sandy said. "Don't ya wanna sit with us" SpongeBob scrunched his left fist. "Yeah." Patrick said "It won't be fun with out you.". SpongeBob was so mad. They ignored him for two straight weeks and then they invite him over and act like nothing happened. SpongeBob was so pissed off but he tried to keep his cool. Instead of yelling at them he did what anyone who was mad at there friend would do: He flipped them off.  
  
Sandy and Patrick jaws both dropped in horror. They couldn't believe what this so-called "friend" would do this. SpongeBob was walking to the kitchen when he heard someone call his name. He turned around an saw Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob started to sweat. Did Mr. Krabs saw SpongeBob flip Sandy and Patrick off. He would probably have to paint the Krusty Krabs or worse. He would get fired!  
  
"SpongeBob, I need to ask you something" Mr. Krabs said. "What is it Mr. Krabs" SpongeBob asked. SpongeBob whole body was shaking. "Did Mrs. Puff told that you were one of our grooms?" Mr. Krabs asked. "Uh, Yeah." replied SpongeBob. "But she wasn't that happy about it.". Mr. Krabs laughed. "Oh don't worry about boy." Mr. Krabs replied . "She'll get over it". Mr. Krabs walked back to his office.  
  
"That was a closer one." SpongeBob muttered. Then SpongeBob remembered that he had to Squidward about Gary and Snellie babies but he couldn't find Squidward. Suddenly he saw Squidward making an exit out of the Krusty Krab. "Squidward." SpongeBob said while running to him. "Don't we need to talk about Gary and Snellie babies.". "SpongeBob." Squidward whined "My shift was in the mourning. I don't want to spend another minute in this hellhole.". "But Squidward, when are we going to talk about this." SpongeBob asked. "Uh, Come over to my house tonight" Squidward said. "Gotta go. See ya at the my house". Squidward ran out of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob saw a limo in front of the Krusty Krab. The limo door open. Squilliam was in the limo. Squidward got in the limo and the big car drove off.  
  
SpongeBob turned around. The table that Sandy and Patrick sat at was now empty. SpongeBob made his way to the kitchen to work.  
  
"Squidward." SpongeBob yelled "Squidward.". It was 7 at night and SpongeBob was knocking on Squidward door. Squidward finally open the door. "Come in." He said. SpongeBob entered Squidward living room. It was the same as he remembered. SpongeBob sat down. He was totally relaxed. Suddenly Squidward gasped. "Oh my god My mom and my sister." Squidward yelled. "SpongeBob hide in the closet". "But Squidward" SpongeBob complained "I said now SpongeBob please" Squidward yelled. SpongeBob pulled the knob and hid himself in the closet.  
  
Author note: Where going to meet someone new and interesting in the next chapter so stick around. Oh! In the last chapter, I made a chart about how Squidward changed before and after he fell in love with Squiliam. Unfortunately, got it mussed up and I'm so sorry that happen. However if your really dying to read the chart, The before becomes before after. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE ME GOOD REVIEWS. 


	7. Family Matters

SpongeBob sat in Squidward closet thinking "Damn, This is uncomfortable. Squid sure has a lot of junk in here.". In a middle of this junk, SpongeBob sat in this ugly maroon chair that looked like it was made in 1958. Suddenly SpongeBob spotted a hole in the door. "Maybe I should spy on Squidward.". SpongeBob thought to him self. "But it isn't the right thing to do.". Oh well. It's not like I'm going to tell him.". SpongeBob ran to the hole to see.  
  
At just at the time Squid mom and sister came. Squid mom looked like your average old lady. She had white hair, Bright lipstick, and wore a white gown. Nothing Special but the sight of Squidward sister took SpongeBob breath away. She looked exactly like Squid in drag( I'm referring to the episode "As Seen On TV" were Squid plays Jan and has a wig on.) but only prettier. She was smiling and had pink lipstick on. She had a white tank top on. She had a light pink skirt on. She had hot pink high heels on. There was something about her that was so beautiful.  
  
Squidward mom sat down on one of his couches. Squid sister looked around the room at his art. She looked kinda freaked out by it. "Can I offer you guys anything?" Squidward asked. "Some brandy would be nice." Squid mother said. Her voice sounded raspy like she been smoking cigarettes for a long time. Squid rolled his eyes. "Okay mom. Do you want anything Leslie?" He asked. "Her name is Leslie!" SpongeBob thought. "I wouldn't expect that name for Squid sister.". "Um. Do you have any diet Dr. Kelp?" She said "I'm on a diet.". Leslie voice didn't sound like the other octopuses. Her voice sounded so beautiful. "Women these days." Squidward muttered to him self.  
  
For a while nothing happen. SpongeBob was getting bored and was thinking about making a run for it when no one was looking but then he heard something that may wanted him to stay. "Squidward," Squid mother said "We need to talk about you and Squiliam.". Squidward was sitting next to Leslie. "How did this happen?" Squid mom asked. "And since when were you gay?" Leslie asked. Squid looked at Leslie and said "You just figure that out now?!" Squid asked. "I wore out my Beaches tape and played my own copy of The Singing In The Rain Greatest Hits record to death. Let's face it Leslie you don't have the best gaydar in the world." "Oh wait a minute, Squidward" Leslie yelled. "Stop this nonsense" their mom yelled. ( A/N: From now on Squidward mother is now going to be know as mom or mother.)"Were not going to talk about how much gaydar we have. We need to talk about Squidward being with his cousin." She said while looking at Squidward in a weird way.  
  
"Now Squidward," Mom said in a normal voice you know you can't love Squiliam. He your cousin, remember". "Mother," Squidward said "Your talking to me like I'm a retard."."Because you are one" Leslie smirked. Squidward kicked one of her tentacles. "Ow!" Leslie screamed in pain. " You bastard!" . "Excuse me?" Mom said while her arms were crossed . "" Oh, Sorry." Leslie said while blushing. Squidward sighed. "As I was saying, You have a problem with me in love with Squiliam yet you let Leslie date Andy for three years!" Squidward complained. Leslie gasped. "You leave Andy out of this!" She yelled. SpongeBob was puzzled. "Who was Andy?" he thought. "In my opinion," Squidward lectured. "I think it's better to date your cousin than a". Squidward was cut off by Leslie. "Let's stay on topic here." Leslie said. "Squidward, You have to cut off your romance with Squiliam." Mom said. "What!" Squidward yelled "Hell no!" . "Squidward, If you don't do this, Then we can't talk to you." Leslie said. "Why would I talk to you, bitch" Squidward said in a sassy way. Leslie rolled her eyes. Squidward didn't mind if he didn't talk to Leslie for the rest of her life but he loved his mom very much even though it didn't show. Ever since his dad died in 1985, He felt very close to his mother. "Well," Leslie said. "We better get going." Mom and Leslie both got up and made an exit though the door. Squidward open his closet door to let SpongeBob out. SpongeBob stretched because he was in a cramped closet for about a half an hour. " So," SpongeBob said "Are we going to talk about Gary and Snelile?" Squidward yawned. "Not now SpongeBob." he said in a sad way. "I wanna go to bed.". "Okay" SpongeBob said. "Your Choice."  
  
SpongeBob felt bad for Squidward. He might never see his mother again. SpongeBob would kill himself if he couldn't see his mom again. Suddenly he saw Leslie. He ran to her. By the time he got to her he was out of breath. Leslie saw a yellow, Square, Sponge who was wearing the most dorky in the whole ocean. The sight of him made her laugh. "Hi I'm SpongeBob." He said " I live next door in a pineapple next door.". "He lives in a fruit" Shem started to laugh harder. "Um are you okay" SpongeBob asked. "Yeah." She said. "My name is Leslie Tentacles. I live in a town called Barnacle Bay( I made it up). I'm Squidward Sister.". SpongeBob was introducing himself when suddenly Mom yelled "Leslie, Are you going to get into the car?!". "Yes mother." Leslie said in a sweet tone. "See Ya SpongeBob".  
  
"Gary, You should of seen her, She was so beautiful" SpongeBob said. SpongeBob was sitting on his red chair talking to Gary. "Meow. (She doesn't sound like a pleasant person to me)" Gary said. However, SpongeBob wasn't listening. "I think I love her, Gary" SpongeBob said like he was dreaming. "Meow.( First Sandy, Then Tatiana and now Leslie? You are such a player!)"Gary said. SpongeBob sat up. "What!" He yelled "I'm not a player!". "Meow. (Whatever.). SpongeBob head was in the clouds and all he was think about was Leslie.  
  
Author Note: Sorry it took so long to publish my second chapter. Three things happened. 1: My computer wasn't working very well and I didn't internet access for awhile. 2: My grandma is sick (That's what you get for smoking for 50 years) So I have to take care of her. 3: I'm getting bored with this story I'm going to change it. I didn't think about adding Leslie ex Andy until yesterday. Good news however. The next chapter is pretty short so it wont take me too long to write. Ciao-GTHK (Go To Hell Kitty) 


	8. Broken Heart At The Bargain Mart

The next mourning , SpongeBob woke up in a happy mood. He was watching a re-run of MermaidMan and BarnacleBoy. It was a great episode and he was having a great time until the phone rang. "Hi SpongeBob SquarePants speaking" SpongeBob said in his usual voice. "Hey there boy" the voice over the phone. It was Mr. Krabs. Today is Friday and you and Squidward have the day off. "Really?" SpongeBob asked. "You also have Monday and Tuesday off too. Due to wedding plans, I can't mange the Krusty Krab at the same time." Mr. Krabs said. "Um Okay" SpongeBob replied. SpongeBob would cry for hours every time Mr. Krabs would do something like that but he needed to take a break from fry cooking. He also heard a new Thai restaurant open in Bikini Bottom and he heard nothing but good reviews about it. He never tasted Thai food before and was willing to try it  
  
All mourning SpongeBob watched Vh1. Vh1 showed A2Z Johnny Depp and Nick & Jessica. Then they showed I Love The 90's: 1994. SpongeBob enjoyed himself. He decided not to go to the Thai restaurant because he thought it was going to be too crowed. "Besides I'm not ready" he thought. "I go to the Bargain Mart to by ingredients for some pasta."  
  
SpongeBob went to the Bargain Mart and got his ingredients. When he was walking out the door, He saw the Bargain Mart put in a new kiddie ride. The Kiddie ride was modeled like a yellow school bus. "Oh this looks fun!" SpongeBob thought to himself. He pulled out a quarter but then he heard a familiar Texas accent! There was only one explanation. Sandy! She was to his right and. SpongeBob turned his head. She was with Patrick. Why wouldn't She be with him. However something wasn't right about this. She was yelling at him and he was crying . "Pat," She yelled. "I don't wanna be with you anything more!". "But Sandy" Patrick sobbed. "You're the only girlfriend I ever had.". "So" Sandy said like she didn't care. "Like I said I'm dumping you for Larry". "What a bitch" SpongeBob thought to himself. "Good bye Patrick" Sandy said in a carefree way. Sandy walked away into the distance.  
  
SpongeBob couldn't believe what Sandy had done. Suddenly Patrick spotted SpongeBob. "SpongeBob!" Patrick yelled "Come here!". Then SpongeBob remembered that he was also mad at Patrick too. SpongeBob picked up his groceries an ran to his house as fast as he can without stopping.  
  
When he got home, He was out of breath. All of the sudden the phone rang. "Hello" He said. "Hiya SpongeBob." A familiar Texas voice said. It was Sandy. "Do you wanna hang out or something?" SpongeBob was very pissed. That ho probably wants to go out with me and break my heart just for fun. "F off Sandy!" SpongeBob yelled. He hung up. He did feel bad for Patrick though. "Gary," He said I'm going over to Patrick for a while. Okay." Meow (Okay. You do that).  
  
Author Note: I have really nothing to say except PLEASE REVIEW. 


	9. The Perfect Kiss

A/N: From now on, The story will be written in a script rather in a regular story. I just thought that would be easier for me because then I can get the story done faster. I also believe that it will be less hard to read. BTW, ( ) this means thinking instead of saying. Thank you for your time.- GTHK  
  
As SpongeBob walked up to Patrick house, He felt so dirty. He felt like he was the worst friend in the world. Sure Patrick acted like an ass to SpongeBob lately but SpongeBob had a theory that no matter how badly a friend treats you, Respect him. SpongeBob finally got to Patrick rock and knocked on it.  
  
Patrick (inside): Who is it  
  
SpongeBob: It's me, SpongeBob  
  
Patrick: Come in  
  
SpongeBob lifted up the rock and saw Patrick watching re-runs of "The Wonder Years". SpongeBob was puzzled. Since when did Patrick watch "The Wonder Years". Patrick was drinking Kelp Light( It's a spoof of the alcoholic drink "Miller Light) and was eating lays BBQ chips. His eyes where so red from crying that it made SpongeBob jump.  
  
SpongeBob: Are you okay? ( Thinking: What kind of question is that. Of course he isn't happy. )  
  
Patrick: No, Sandy dumped me.  
  
SpongeBob: I know  
  
For a moment Patrick and SpongeBob didn't say anything It was an awkward moment. SpongeBob suddenly had a crazy idea. If Sandy was going to act like a bitch, Then who need her anyway.  
  
SpongeBob: Patrick  
  
Patrick: Yeah  
  
SpongeBob: Who needs Sandy. I mean if she going to treat us like dirt then who needs her any way.  
  
Patrick: You're right SpongeBob. I'm sorry I treated you like a jerk during Sandy and I were going out.  
  
SpongeBob: Apology accepted. Now who wants to go jellyfishing.  
  
Patrick: I do!  
  
The duo went to jellyfishing for hours and hours. Finally the sun was setting and the boys were about to go home but SpongeBob spotted someone sitting on the grass. Ironically she was a sponge and she was also square and yellow just like SpongeBob. She was sitting on the grass. She had her long dark brown hair in a pony tail. She was wearing a pink baseball cap. She wearing a white shirt that had red sleeves. Her shirt said "Number One Cutie". She was wearing dark jeans. She had on addias. She was blowing a bubble .  
  
SpongeBob( Thinking: Wow! She so beautiful but she looks so familiar)  
  
Patrick walks up to SpongeBob  
  
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob. I forgot to tell you that I got an invitation to some wedding.  
  
SpongeBob: It was probably Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff wedding  
  
Suddenly SpongeBob remembered that the girl sponge sitting on the grass was Tatiana. SpongeBob really wanted to talk to her but he was to nervous. Besides Tatiana was going to slap him if he came anywhere near her but he needed to be a man not a sissy. SpongeBob was going to talk to Tatiana no matter what she did to him.  
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I going to be right back.  
  
Patrick: Okay  
  
As SpongeBob got closer and closer to Tatiana, He got more and more nervous. SpongeBob (Thinking: I sure hope that I look good) Finally he was about a foot away from her. He took a deep breath.  
  
SpongeBob (Nervously): Hello Tatiana  
  
Tatiana turned her head to see the guy from boating school who obviously liked her standing right next to her with a big stupid grin on his face. Seriously, Tatiana wanted to tell SpongeBob to get the hell away from her but perhaps she should try to be nice.  
  
Tatiana: Hi SpongeBob!  
  
SpongeBob: So um, How are you?  
  
Tatiana (Lying): Doing great.  
  
SpongeBob: Well that's good to hear.  
  
Tatiana: What about you?  
  
SpongeBob: Fine. Do you like sunsets?  
  
Tatiana: Sure  
  
SpongeBob: I love them  
  
For a moment Tatiana didn't care if SpongeBob grabbed her and kissed her. For the first time she thought he was kind of cool. All of the sudden, SpongeBob put his hand on her knee. She didn't mind. The next thing she laid her head down on his shoulders.  
  
SpongeBob: Tatiana ?  
  
Tatiana: Yeah?  
  
SpongeBob: Do you mind if I kiss you?  
  
Tatiana: No. Kiss me  
  
The two got closer and closer together. Their faces got closer and closer Their lips got closer and closer . Then came a perfect kiss. It was probably the best moment of SpongeBob life. Nothing could ruin this moment or can it?  
  
All of the sudden, Tatiana snapped back into reality. She pulled away, Ruining the best kiss in the world.  
  
Tatiana: Sorry SpongeBob but I have to go. I remember I have to go um shopping. Bye!  
  
SpongeBob : Okay, See you soon.  
  
SpongeBob just sat there for a couple minutes wondering "What did I just do? I was LaLa land. I didn't mean to kiss Tatiana but look on the bright side, I had my first kiss. SpongeBob got up and walked over to Patrick. As usual, Patrick had a blank look on his face and he was drooling.  
  
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! Patrick!  
  
Patrick: Oh hey SpongeBob!  
  
SpongeBob: Lets go to my house and watch some TV  
  
Patrick: Okay  
  
A/n: So I trying to write this way. It's hard but I'll get used to it. What do U think. ( See U Soon-GTHK 


	10. SpongeBob in Love?

SpongeBob and Patrick were watching "Cops" at SpongeBob house. Actually Patrick was watching "Cops" and SpongeBob wasn't because he was thinking about Tatiana. He couldn't get her out of his head. The kiss replayed in SpongeBob head over and over again. He need something to distract him from Tatiana. Not to mention that he did wanna ask her out without making a major ass out of himself  
  
Patrick: SpongeBob?  
  
SpongeBob: Yeah?  
  
Patrick: Do you ever know that your floor is kind of sandy  
  
SpongeBob suddenly got an idea.  
  
SpongeBob: um Patrick, I'm gonna go to Sandy's for a bit. You stay here. Okay  
  
Patrick (Not really paying attention): Okay  
  
SpongeBob was still pissed at Sandy but since she was a girl, Maybe she could help him. She was also his other crush. It was night time so it was kinda hard to see. Finally, SpongeBob reached Sandy's treedome. He was nervous but need advice. He walked up and knocked on Sandy's steel door. Then he remember that he forgot his bubble helmet.  
  
SpongeBob (Whispering): Shit!  
  
Luckily for SpongeBob, Sandy saw him outside of her treeddome and she notice that he didn't have a helmet on . She had two extra bubble helmet. One for SpongeBob and one for Patrick in case they forgot theirs. She grabbed one and put water in one of the helmets  
  
Sandy: It's okay SpongeBob, Come in.  
  
SpongeBob came in and Sandy put the bubble helmet on him. SpongeBob sat on the log while Sandy was standing right in front of him.  
  
SpongeBob: Thanks Sandy  
  
Sandy: Your Welcome. Say, SpongeBob. I thought you were mad at me why are you here?  
  
SpongeBob: I'm mad at you because while you were going out with Patrick you ignored me but I need some advice. See, There this girl who goes to boating school and  
  
But SpongeBob was cut off by Sandy  
  
Sandy: I know where this is going. You like her and you wanna impress her.  
  
SpongeBob: No. Actually your wrong. Today I saw her and one thing lead to another and we kissed.  
  
Sandy: Lip kissing or French kissing?  
  
SpongeBob: French  
  
Sandy raised an eyebrow and didn't say anything for a minute or two.  
  
SpongeBob: And the thing is, I can't get her out of my head ever since.  
  
Sandy: I think your in love with her.  
  
SpongeBob: I don't think so because I barely know her and she probably thinks I'm a nerd.  
  
Sandy: Then why did she let you kiss her.  
  
SpongeBob didn't say anything.  
  
Sandy: See. I think you guys are in love with each other.  
  
SpongeBob: Well, maybe your right but how do I get her off of my mind.  
  
Sandy sighed and shook her head slightly at the same time.  
  
Sandy: Your on your own SpongeBob.  
  
SpongeBob: Well, um, okay. Thank you any way  
  
Sandy: No problem. I'm sorry if I ignored you while I was going out with Patrick.  
  
SpongeBob: Apology accepted. Well I gotta go. Patrick is at my house.  
  
Sandy: Okay, Bye.  
  
As SpongeBob walked out the door, Sandy just looked at him.  
  
Sandy: And I was so sure that her had a crush on me.  
  
A/n: from Saturday to Wednesday, I'm doing stuff so the new chapter won't be written publish until like next Thursday. Thank You! 


	11. Familiar Faces In New Places

Disclaimer: I don't own Sponge Bob. Steve and Nickelodeon do. However I do own Tatiana Sponge son ad Leslie Tentacles. I also own the Thai restaurant and the idea of the Shell Shack. That's all.

Sponge Bob was waiting for Sandy and Patrick to come. He was waiting on Baywood street (Another thing I made up.). It was Saturday night and Sponge Bob, Sandy and Patrick had plans to go to the new Thai restaurant. He was right in front of the restaurant

Sponge Bob (Thinking): Where can they possibly be?

A few minutes later, a boat came and parked right in front of the restaurant. Ironically, Sandy was driving and Patrick was in the passenger seat.

Sponge Bob: How do you know how to drive?

Sandy: In Texas. The boat is a rental.

Patrick: Hi Sponge Bob

Sponge Bob: Hi Patrick

Sandy and Patrick got out of the boat. Sandy had a blue sunflower dress on but no air suit . Just her air helmet (Don't ask me how she can breathe) and had bright blue high heels that match her dress. She looked so beautiful. SpongeBob wanted to grab her and make out with her for the rest of the night but he had self control. Patrick was wearing a shirt that said "Dukes of Hazard" from the famous TV show. He was wearing the same tie that he wore at Sponge Bob house party. And he was wearing his trademark Bermuda shorts.

Sponge Bob looked down at his outfit. A tuxedo. Nothing special.

Sponge Bob: So are we ready to go in?

Sandy: Yeah.

Sponge Bob: Okay. Here we go.

As they walked in the restaurant SpongeBob looked down at his clothes to see if wearing a tuxedo was too overly dress because the restaurant wasn't that fancy. The restaurant was basically white. Besides of other people clothes, The restaurant was nothing but white. Even the waiter's uniform were white. They stood in the cashier line for about five minutes until a waitress (Who was an anchovy) with blond hair came to take them to their table. As they walked across the restaurant. They realized that a lot of people were there.

SpongeBob: (Thinking) It was a good idea that Mr.Krabs closed down the Krusty Krab for

A while.

The waitress led them to their table. The table had a white table cloth with white wooden booths. Sandy and SpongeBob sat in one booth. Sandy sat near the window while SpongeBob sat in the outside. Patrick had the other booth to himself because of his big bones.

Waitress: Hi. My name is Melissa. I be your waitress for today. I let you guys decide what you want to drink first. I'll be back in about in 5 minutes. Okay.

As Melissa left. The three looked at their menu.

Sandy (Whispering): This place is too white.

A bunch of boring stuff happen while they were ordering so were going to skip to the part where after they ordered. SpongeBob sat there board as hell. Sandy and Patrick where talking about some reality show that he never ever heard of. He was going to fall asleep until he heard someone voice. The voice sounded familiar. He turned his head to see Tatiana sitting with a tough guy he might of meet while his 30 seconds stay at the Salty Spitoon. Then he saw the guy get up.

SpongeBob: I'm going to be right back

Sandy and Patrick weren't even listening. SpongeBob got up and walked slowly. He needed to tell her that he loved her. He finally got to her table.

SpongeBob: Hi Tatiana

Tatiana turned to see SpongeBob standing there.

Tatiana: Uh hi

SpongeBob: Listen Tatiana. I need to tell you something important.

Tatiana: Not now SpongeBob. I'm on a date with my boyfriend.

SpongeBob: But I love you

Unfortunately Tatiana boyfriend came back to there table and heard what SpongeBob said.

Tatiana boyfriend: What the hell are you doing here

His voice sounded like he was from New York.

Tatiana: It's nothing Jason.

Jason: Isn't nothing. Then why did loser come over here to tell you bullshit

Jason was scary looking. He was a muscular fish with black hair. He was wearing a white T-

shirt with faded jeans. He seemed to have a scar on his face just like Tatiana.

Tatiana: Look I'm sorry.

Tears were filling up in Tatiana eyes.

Jason: You better be cause when we get home, I'm going to beat you up.

Jason voice was so loud that almost anyone could hear his voice in the restaurant. Tatiana was sobbing. Her mascara was all over her face.

Jason (To SpongeBob): Get lost

SpongeBob walked back to his table. Sandy and Patrick were looking at him.

Sandy: Who was she?

SpongeBob: That's the girl I was telling you about.

Sandy: Oh. You didn't tell me she had a boyfriend.

SpongeBob: I didn't know

Patrick: (giggling) SpongeBob has a girlfriend. SpongeBob has a girlfriend.

SpongeBob: I do not. Well at least not yet.

Melissa came with there food. The food was pretty good but nothing special. SpongeBob paid for the food. When they came out of the restaurant SpongeBob heard yet another familiar voice. He turned to see Leslie on her cellphone. She was in a dark gold dress and wearing a giant fur coat. Her hair was up in a bun. She turned his head to see SpongeBob and waved a tentacle at him. SpongeBob ran to her.

Leslie: How my Spongey doing?

SpongeBob: Fine. Leslie what are you doing here?

Leslie: I'm in Bikini Bottom for a tennis tournament.

SpongeBob: You play tennis?

Leslie: Yeah. In fact. I was at the Sealimpics in 1996 at Rome. I was at a party.

SpongeBob: Are you staying at Squidward.

Leslie: No. He won't let me.

SpongeBob: Say. Do you want to do something tomorrow?

Leslie: How bout lunch. I have something to do in the morning.

SpongeBob: Okay. Let's go to Cerrie. Does 1 O'clock sound good.

Leslie: Sure. I hope to see you there.

A cab suddenly parked right in front of Leslie. Leslie got into the cab and the cab drove off.

SpongeBob watched the cab in the distance. He didn't know why he asked her out to lunch. Probably to get Tatiana out of his mind but you can't get rid of love. Or can you?

A/n: I'm soooooooooooooooooooo sorry I didn't update. My grandma died and I took a break. This week my mom is sending me to camp so I might not update the story in a while.

Sorry but thanks- GTHK


	12. The Warth Of Leslie Tentacles

Okay, It's been almost a year since I updated this story. I wanna apologize to all my fans out there. If you ever see me walking down the street, feel free to beat me with a stick. That is all. Thank you.-GTHK

Spongebob was at Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff ceremony rehearsal. And, Oh my god, was it boring. The rehearsal was supposed to end fifteen minutes ago but thanks to Patrick, It was going nowhere. Everytime someone would say something, Patrick would interrupt by asking a stupid question.

Priest: And now anymore words from the groom?

Mr. Krabs: Uh yes, Mrs. Puff-

Patrick: Mrs. Puff?

Mrs. Puff rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Puff: Yes, Patrick?

Patrick: Where do babies come from?

Meanwhile, Spongebob was standing right next to Squidward. He was very annoyed at the moment because he was supposed to meet Leslie at the French café five minutes ago. He reached for his pocket and pulled some cigarettes out. He put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Squidward was staring at him the whole time.

Squidward: Spongebob, I didn't knew you smoked.

Spongebob: I just started yesterday

Squidward: Well, what made you start?

Spongebob: A girl

Squidward looked like he was going to crap his pants

Squidward: You have a girlfriend?

Spongebob: Well, not really. But I'm supposed to meet her a this café today. I don't know if I am because Patrick is acting like a retard.

Squidward: Tell me about it. I wanna get home fast. HBO is showing Margaret Cho's I'm The One That I'm Want. My Tivo is broken so I'm kinda pissed at the moment. So anyway, Who's this girl you talk about?

Spongebob: Her name is Leslie. She's a octopus and-

But Spongebob was interrupted by Squidward.

Squidward: What's her last name?

Spongebob: Tentacles.

Squidward: Spongebob! Leslie is my sister!

Spongebob: Yea, I know.

Squidward: You know nothing about her. She's a heartless bitch. Not to mention a whore.

Spongebob: No she's not.

Squidward: I grew up with her. She lost her virginity at fourteen.

Spongebob: How do you know that?

Squidward: She basically told everyone about it.

Spongebob: Look, I'm not gonna buy your line of bullshit, okay. I love Leslie. And if you don't realize that, you can go fu-

But Spongebob was interrupted again but this time by Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Spongebob, what the hell are you doing?

Spongebob: Uh, arguing?

Mr. Krabs: Were having a rehearsal right now and you need to shut up!

Spongebob: Hell no! I don't wanna shut up!

Mr. Krabs was shocked by Spongebob answer.

Mr. Krabs: Then I don't want you at the Wedding then.

Spongebob walked towards the church door.

Spongebob: WELL I DON'T WANNA GO TO YOUR FING WEDDING ANYWAY!

Then, he slammed the door

When he was outside, he dialed Leslie cell phone number. Thank god he went into Squidward Prada address book and got her number. It rang for along time. Spongebob was about to hang up when:

Leslie: Hello?

Spongebob: It's me Spong-

But Spongebob was cut off by the breath of a mysterious man

Mysterious Man: Who's calling, baby?

Leslie: Not now David! Can't you see I'm talking to someone.

Mysterious Man: Well sorry. Maybe it wasn't sucha good idea to do it with you

Leslie: Shut up Jake!

Mysterious Man: It's David

Leslie: Whatever. Hiya Spongeyboy! Sorry about that. Some rude dickhead keeps interrupting me! Is everything okay?

Spongebob: I'm a bit confused.

Leslie: About what?

Spongebob: The guy in the backround said that you and him " do it ". What does that mean?

Leslie: Oh that? It means, oh … uh.. um.. Oh it means that ..um we were ..uh picking flowers and riding seahorses.. and, oh god.. um…and singing merry tunes. I hope you believe it because it's true.

Spongebob: That what's you guys were doing!

Leslie: ( Danmit! He must of not be believe any of my crap. I guess I should tell him the truth.) Look Spongebob! I'm so sorry! I didn't want to hurt your feelings but I'm addicted to-

Spongebob: What are you talking about Leslie? I was just a little jealous that you guys didn't invite me. I love picking flowers, riding seahorses, and singing merry tunes.

Leslie: You do?

Spongebob: Well I haven't been " doing it " lately because I been real busy. Also, I thought you would think I was a huge dork if you saw me doing that stuff.

Leslie( I will always think you're a huge dork no matter what you do, Spongebob) Well maybe I should of thought about bring but I didn't. Maybe next time. Why did you call?

Spongebob: We were supposed to meet at that café awhile ago, remember?

Leslie: Oh that's right I'm so sorry. I'll get my ass over to Cerrie's right now!

Spongebob: Okay, bye

Leslie: Bye

Leslie hung up her cell phone and sighed.

Leslie: That was close

David: What the hell was that about?

Leslie: I was supposed to meet this guy at Cerrie"s a while ago but I forgot.

David: Who is this guy because I wanna kick his ass!

Leslie: Now, now David, Remember, You are not my boyfriend. You're a guy who sits on my 1500 dollar poster bead watching MTV while eating Layes and drinking Sprite. Then when I come home from a long day at work, I expect you to give me what I want and when I want it. But also remember, this is an two week ordeal. You been hear for nine days so that's means you have five days to do what your doing now. Then it's back at your sister crappy apartment where the only thing she cooks is nasty egg salad, not to mention the eggs are really five year old Easter eggs. So enjoy being Miss Tentacles boy toy because it's over before you know it. My next one is named Spongebob Squarepants and he's going to spoil me rotten. But when's he dept up to his eyeballs, I'm nowhere to be found.

David: You really are an awful person Leslie.

Leslie had a smirk on her face

Leslie: You just figured that out now?

Spongebob was waiting for Leslie at the cafe. He very nervous. On the way there, He got her some white roses . He wasn't sure if she liked them or not but they were unique, Like her. All of the sudden, Leslie came strolling down the sidewalk. She was wearing a headband. Her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed in a week. She was wearing flip flops and ripped jeans which you can see her skinny tentacles inside. She wore and old black buttoned cardigan. Under that was a stain white T-shirt. Some people might of guessed that she was homeless but to most people, She looked beautiful.

Leslie spotted him immediately. Spongebob gulped.

Leslie: Hey!

Spongebob: Hi Leslie, you look beautiful.

Leslie: I know. I'll be taking those.

Leslie snatched the roses out of Spongebob's arms.

Leslie: Shall we go inside?

Spongebob vaguely remember what went on at Cerrie's. He remembered that the restaurant was red much like the Thai restaurant was white. It was fancy. He didn't remember what he had to eat but he knew that Leslie had a cheesecake. In fact Leslie had a long conversation with the waiter about nothing. The reason why he didn't remembered all of this stuff was because all this time he was trying so hard not to mess up for Leslie.

When they were walking a back home, everything was so peaceful. Leslie wasn't talking for once. But all of the sudden, Leslie asked Spongebob a very weird question.

Leslie: Spongebob?

Spongebob: Yeah?

Leslie: Do you want to kiss me?

Spongebob was shocked by this question. He wanted to do more than kiss her but he was worried that a more intimate relasonship with Leslie was gonna ruin his chance with Tatiana. Or Sandy.

Leslie: Well, Are you or not?

Spongebob: Uh, yeah, sure

And they kissed. But in Spongebob opinion, he didn't like it. He liked his kiss with Tatiana much better. Then he thought, Maybe I shouldn't be with Leslie. Maybe Squidward was right. What if she just uses me?

As they got to Leslie hotel room, Leslie was tempted to introduce David to Spongebob.

Leslie: Ah, David I like you to meet Spongebob. Spongebob, David

Spongebob: Hello

David: Uh, hi

Leslie: Okay, Spongebob, do you mind if you amscray. Thank you, you're such a dear.

Leslie basically pushed Spongebob on to the elevator before he can say good bye.

When Leslie into her room she noticed to suitcases near the door.

Leslie: uh, Dave, What are those for?

David: Those are mine, I moving back in with my sister.

Leslie: What? You can't do this!

David: Why not? I tried of you treating people like shit. Especially, young men who you uses as toys, much like that guy you just introduce me to. You sicken me. I'm leaving for good.

Leslie: Oh yeah! I would like to see you try.

And just then, Davis slammed the door.

Leslie face fell for a moment or two. She sat the her bed a sighed.

Leslie: It's okay. I won't be needing him anymore now that I have Spongebob.

Again I apologize for what I have done. To make it up to you guys, the next chapter is coming up soon and eventually, the story will be finished by September (which is the month I turn 14). Oh and one more thing, Please review! Take care! Love- GTHK


	13. Leaving For Good

A/n: Hello again. Sorry for the wait. I had writers block. This chapter is VERY important to the story, so if you don't read it, your not going to understand what's going on for the rest of it. Thanks. Take care!

It was a cold Sunday night. Tatiana was sitting alone in a dark room by herself. Her face was sticky from tears. All she was wearing was a black tattered black dress. She looked at her wrist. Scars from cutting herself and small dots from shooting heroin. Down below her legs were skinny as sticks from under eating. Her hands traveled her face. There She felt a deep scar that even plastic surgery couldn't fix. Suddenly tears came down her eyes ruining her mascara. She hated everything about her life. She try to think about a moment in her life which made her happy but she couldn't think of any. Every flashback of her life was painful from the time she was a little girl to this very moment.

Suddenly the door opened. Jason stood there with an angry look on his face. Tatiana wiped her tears from her face and smiled at him. She feared Jason more than anything. He was always yelling at her and beating her up. Even when she did nothing wrong. He always found a reason to make her feel crappy as ever.

Tatiana: Hi Jason.

Jason didn't say anything. He still had a angry look on his face.

Tatiana: What's wrong?

Jason: I'll tell you what's wrong! It's nine-thirty and you haven't even made dinner yet! Get off you ass and make me some dinner you stupid bitch!

Tatiana got up and started to walk to kitchen. She wasn't crying anymore. This type of thing happen everyday. She was used to it. Tatiana looked in the refrigerator and only saw some left over roast beef. She sighed and started to make heat it up when Jason came.

Jason: Hey Baby. Guess who commin over?

Tatiana: Who?

Jason: Andy.

Tatiana almost had a cardiac arrest when she heard this. Andy was Jason best friend and he was 10x worse than Jason. He was racist against anyone who wasn't a fish (so he was mean to Tatiana). He was also sexist ( So he was more mean to Tatiana). And he was homophobic. So basically, Andy was a horrible person. Tatiana didn't really knew what Andy did for a living. What ever he was doing must of paid him good money because he drove a really nice car. Tatiana knew Andy for about a year now but she still didn't know anything about him.

Jason: You like Andy, Do you?

Tatiana (lying): Of course .

Jason: Good. He's commin in ten minutes and he says he wants dinner on the table as soon as he gets there so hurry up.

Jason left the room making Tatiana more pissed than ever.

Tatiana: (Assholes! I wish they were all dead!)

Tatiana suddenly spotted a bottle poison sitting on the counter. The poison was from when Jason killed a man for his money a couple of weeks ago. What it was doing on the counter was anyone guess. Tatiana grabbed the poison and looked at the content. It read: IF ANYONE DRINKS THIS THEY WILL DIE IMEDIETLY! Tatiana smiled.

Tatiana: ( Finally, They'll get what they deserved!)

She was going to put in there but then she thought of her father. Tatiana father used to be a kind man until his wife (which was also Tatiana mother) left them for reason that was unclear when Tatiana was three. Year by year, her father became an abusive alcoholic who on a regular basis beat his kids. When Tatiana was ten, her uncle Fred tried to take custody from her and her brothers away from her father, he wouldn't allow it so he killed Fred by poisoning them. About a year later, everyone found out that he killed his brother. He was sentence to life in jail. After that, Tatiana and her brothers went though a slew of foster homes. Years and years passed by and somehow Tatiana ended up living in a crappy apartment in a awful part of town. Her boyfriend was a dug dealer and abusive towards her. Sure her life was bad but it wasn't going to get any better if she killed Jason and Andy.

Tatiana (looking at the bottle of poison): nevermind

Tatiana put the bottle of poison where it was and continued what she was doing.

All of the sudden, The door opened. Tatiana heard a loud voice that yelled

"I'm Here"! It had to be Andy. Tatiana quickly put the roast beef on some plates and put them on the table. She could hear Andy and Jason talking loudly and it was only a matter of time before they got here .When they got in the kitchen Andy (who seemed to be very drunk) looked at her directly in the eye.

Andy: Hey babe. How ya doin?

Tatiana had it. She was tried of Jason's friends hitting on her. And she was tried of putting on a fake smile all the time when really she felt like crap. So she decided to answer differently.

Tatiana: First of all, I am not your babe. Got that? Second of all, I feel I like crap! I hadn't had a good day in ten years! And you know that! The question isn't "How ya doin?" . The real question is "Why are you asking?"

Andy was shocked by this answer. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say. He remember that he had a girlfriend named Leslie who was an octopus, about seven years ago. He remember yelling at her. And then she yelled at him back. And all of the sudden, he punched her. The next thing Andy knew was that Leslie filed a police report against Andy and he ended up in jail for about 18 months. Thinking about Leslie made him so pissed that that he wanted to punch thin air. Wait. Why would he wanna pucnh thin air when he could punch Tatiana! That bitch made him so mad! He closed his eyes a dogged towards his face.

When he open his eyes he saw Tatiana long spongy arm (she could stretch her arms really far, like Spongebob.) griping onto Andy's arm. She was smiling at him sweetly.

Tatiana: Now, now Andy. Let's not punch each other, If you even hit me, I'll the cops and your ass will be in jail before you can even say "I didn't mean to do it".

Andy: What the hell's up with you! I just ask a simple question and now your acting like I killed Jason or something.

Tatiana: You can kill Jason if you It's not like I would care anyway.

Andy: But I thought Jason was you boy-

But their conversation was cut by Jason storming in the kitchen and yelling "What the hell did I just hear?". He looked at Tatiana with his mean green eyes. Tatiana looked back and saw nothing but hate in them.

Tatiana: I think you heard me correctly. But in case not, I said "I don't care if Andy kills you". If you didn't hear that, I think you should see an ear doctor or something.

Jason froze. Like Andy before him, he had no idea what to say. There was an uncomfortable silence for about two minutes. Finally, Andy broke it.

Andy: Why you being such a bitch Tatiana?

Tatiana: Because I'm tried of you and Jason like seahorse shit. I had enough. I'm leaving. This also means I'm dumping you Jason.

Jason: What! You can't do this to me. No girl never dumps me!

Tatiana: I can't see why considering your grammar is awful.

Tatiana walked out of the kitchen to pack her stuff. She packed everything she could in her tiny little suitcase. She was about to leave when she heard Andy say something.

Andy: God! What a bitch! Do you think I should sent somebody to wack her off?

Tatiana: What!

Tatiana ran back into the kitchen.

Tatiana: What did say?

Andy: Nothing sweetie.

Andy comment made Jason laugh

Tatiana: Y--y--y you were going to sent somebody to kill me! You have connections to the mob, do you?

Andy: Well, duh. My father is the don.

Tatiana: So that would make you mobster. So that's were you get all of your fancy cars and stuff.

Andy: As soon as my old man breaths his very last breath, which I hope will be soon and it will probably be soon because he's fatter than holy hell, I be the don of the Bikini Bottom mob.

Tatiana: Bikini Bottom mob?

Andy: Yes. The Bikini Bottom mob. God, your stupid. What difference does it makes. I mean Jason is a drug dealer.

Tatiana: Yes, he is a drug dealer. But a mediocre one. His clients are just crazy. But the Bikini Bottom is far superior to some stupid drug dealer.

Jason was very pissed off when he heard her say that.

Jason: Tatiana, I swear to god!-

But before he could finish his sentence, she grabbing her suitcase and walking out the front door. Jason tried running after her but then he heard the door close and realized he couldn't do nothing anymore.

Tatiana was freezing yet ironically, she couldn't be happier. After two years of dating Jason, she dumped his ass. As she walked down the cold dark street, she smiled. Finally her life was in her own hands and no one else.

A/n: Alright. I have no camp for the rest of the summer so expect the next chapter to come soon because it's very short! Oh, and please review!-GTHK.


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